If Apple’s trying to milk you to the bone, it’s because of a Grand Metaphysical Purpose. What? You didn’t know?
Read this if you want to learn how and why…
— Edited and extended version —
Polymatter – The Grand Theory Of Apple. I hate Apple fanboys – Do you hate Apple and its fanboys?
Hi, by watching Apple fanboy Polymatter’s “The Grand Theory Of Apple” video (below), you’ll be happy to learn that Apple isn’t using its decaying image of innovative company, marketing, its army of fanboys and the biased media to launch and sell (years after everyone else) overpriced, limited and uninspired products.
No. Now, Apple fanboys try to manipulate us into believing that Apple is a forward-thinking company and its me-too products are in fact the result of an almost mystical philosophy (minimalism) and have metaphysical reasons (the hate of technology) for existing…
And according to this Polymatter’s (name of the YouTube channel) “The Grand Theory of Apple” (propaganda) video, unsurprisingly, these reasons don’t have anything to do with Apple trying to milk its customers to the very last drop (of cash)… Not in the slightest. Of course, not.
It’s been a while, right? A bit too long maybe?
But I found a good way to ask for your forgiveness: an about 4300 (!) words long post destroying all the claims, theories and attempts at disinfo of this “The Grand Theory of Apple” video.
Just know that this post isn’t meant to be an essay. You could say it’s a semi-rant. I’m just going to follow the chronology of the video and try to counter-argue its points one by one.
— For (way) better demonstrations and in-depth analyses backed up by HUNDREDS of sources, you should check out my books, the “Apple, The Forbidden Truth” series. —
This post wasn’t supposed to be that long but, and almost as usual now, it is. I couldn’t stop writing. I “hate” these annoying Apple fanboys and all their lies. Though, here, it could ‘simply’ be a total incapacity for accurately analyzing the situation coupled with a hilarious delusion of grandeur? This could explain the pretentious title (The Grand Theory of Apple)… and why every argument made in this video is so wrong.
I edited this post but there may be some typos or syntax approximations I missed. Sorry for that in advance. But the content isn’t bad at all. You’ll see. So… Enjoy. 😉
Apple fanboys sure like to sound smart. Some do. But that’s all most of them do. They sound smart.
But sounding smart isn’t enough… Truth is what matters.
Well, unless you’re another iFanboy that is. In that case, you don’t care about the truth at all either. You just like to hear stuff that reassures you in your choices and preferences. Stuff that presents Apple as the best, most innovative, most forward thinking etc… company in the world. This is called confirmation bias (Wikipedia).
That’s exactly what this video is. A bunch of good sounding BS passing as a clever analysis of what Apple is and what are the reasons for its behavior and choices. It’s destined to comfort Apple fans in their love for Apple and customers about their purchase.
I wouldn’t care one bit myself if another more problematic (when you’re not drinking Apple’s Kool Aid) and very irritating goal of this video wasn’t to explain, justify and excuse all the anti-consumer moves Apple has been doing recently by making them out to have a deeper, almost metaphysical, meaning that this Grand Theory of Apple is supposed to reveal.
Well, I’m telling you right now. It’s a load of crap. It has a pretty packaging and a good delivery, no doubt. But it’s still U-T-T-E-R crap. Pardon my French.
I put it here if you want to watch it first (I know I’m gonna contribute to increase its number of views. But I don’t care. I’m never jealous of anyone’s success. Good for him, in this case. Plus, it’s you watching it and you have all the counter-arguments to his points just below, so… it’s ok).
You could even watch it after reading this post. I know it sounds strange but like that you’ll already have all the debunking in mind. And you won’t let the flow of the vid hypnotize you… LOL.
Do what you think is best. Here it is:
I’ll first quote a couple of comments posted under it and then I’ll debunk all Polymatter’s arguments one by one.
This video, at the time of writing, has almost 900K views and 36K likes (3K downvotes). This is also deeply concerning and another reason why I had to write something about it. Even though you won’t be nearly as many to read this, I would have still be able to reach you, yes you… And present you with an alternative explanation to Apple behavior and moves. One that doesn’t come straight from the Reality Distortion Field, that is.
“Sir, you are a smart person with a keen ability to analyze a large phenomenon to an abstract level.”
When we like what we hear, it always sounds smart.
“Fascinating video ! Really nice work on this one.”
“Awesome video with great animation! I loved how you stayed unbiased, even when most of these kinds of videos are biased! I’m subscribing! 😃”
Again, let’s give credit where credit is due, and admit his video is sleek and well made… Pretty… But still nonsense though.
And unbiased? LOL. This not only biased but either naive or deceitful. It has nothing to do with reality and the true motivations behind Apple’s choices. NOTHING.
Let’s begin with 2 questions he asks before actually delivering his “grand theory” and answer them briefly.
1. Is Apple coasting on previous successes and the image it gained because of it?
But also because of marketing and of the army of fanboys and pro-Apple biased tech blogs and media repeating ad nauseam how Apple makes the best, most intuitive, polished, premium, innovative, secure etc… products.
All of this is FALSE and that’s EXACTLY what I denounce and prove wrong in my books. All the topics/myths this video touches on are developed in depth in them as well… Just better and more accurately 😉
Anyway, moving on…
2. Is Apple a company which is only profit oriented and uses marketing to maximize profits?
No, Apple is a charity.
Yes. Of course it is.
How can that even be a serious question? That’s the very goal of any company.
Plus, if Apple doesn’t sell anything and everything (yet?) it’s precisely because they want to sell more products at higher prices and margins.
It seems counter intuitive but selling anything and everything would be stupid and suicidal. It would dilute the brand and make it less desirable, thus valuable.
So, no, Apple isn’t foolish nor does it make random decisions. But their true reasons are NOT those given in the video. I’ll now give more realistic ones as to why it does what does.
Lets start with the fact that, and contrary to what the narrator claims, Apple did already start to sell more products and services (Apple Watch, Apple Music, HomeKit, Airpods, HomePod… plenty of accessories, dongles (LOL)… There may be even more iPhone models (3 + an SE 2?) sold this year. And this will happen more and more.
Why? Because Apple needs to try and keep up with a significant growth for shareholders to be happy. Thus, it needs to grow its product line as well as sell more accessories.
So, that’s already one patently false assertion. Apple does sell a lot of products and services. And it will undoubtedly sell more and more.
And the attempted jab at Samsung is ridiculous. Samsung is a Korean conglomerate that was founded 80 years ago, in 1938 before the second world war and almost 40 years before Apple. It was as a trading company back then. So, of course it had time to develop and diversify its activities and, therefore, sell a lot of products (too). It entered the Electronics market in the 60s, close to a decade before Apple was created.
The guy can’t even make a Google search. From Wikipedia:
“Samsung was founded by Lee Byung-chul in 1938 as a trading company. Over the next three decades, the group diversified into areas including food processing, textiles, insurance, securities and retail. Samsung entered the electronics industry in the late 1960s and the construction and shipbuilding industries in the mid-1970s; these areas would drive its subsequent growth.”
Now, let’s see this “Grand Theory” of Apple.
3. Technology should be as transparent as possible.
Great. What else is new? The sky is blue?
According to him Apple hates technology (that would be a bit ironic for a tech company, btw…) and it thinks people do too (otherwise it wouldn’t make sense as Apple still tries, last time I checked, to sell products to people, right?). So, in order to eliminate the appearance of selling a tech products, it pursues minimalism, thinness and lightness as much as possible. Well, who doesn’t?
a) It’s not about tech or hating it, it’s about design.
Minimalistic design, yes but because it’s the style/design language Apple has chosen a long time ago. Why? Because it thinks that’s what’s more appealing to the eye. That’s it. But I understand all too much the need to make this simple fact more than it is. Because if you don’t and just look at the cold hard reality, the products that are actually on sale have nothing special going on for them… Except their price… And their logo.
b) Apple’s obsession with minimalism has its drawbacks.
It makes Apple create
focused limited products and services. Limited because, as soon as you try to do a bit more with your iPhone, iPad etc… you can’t… Or you have to go through hoops to accomplish the same tasks a device created to be feature rich from its conception can do easily… and “seamlessly”.
Also, ask iPhone X owners if they don’t care about RAM (a little piece of technology) when their $1000 toy reloads apps and webpages all over the place because it only has 3GB of it (where’s the mythical iOS optimization, btw? It doesn’t exist. Actually, Apple is very bad at software. Yes, I can back up this claim. But not here as it’s a lot of pages of examples and debunking).
Ask iPhone 6, 6S and 7 if they don’t care about their battery not being able to power their phone anymore after merely a year of use (sometimes a lot less than that) and shutting down because of it. It’s such an issue that Apple had to slow countless of iPhones down. It hid it… Until it was caught. (I just needed to mention it but this is neither the time nor the place to talk about this very important and disgraceful issue).
Again, not caring about specs has its limits. Apple is just trying to put the least possible amount of RAM and battery in its phones… simply to save maybe a dollar or 2 by phone. And whereas it adds up to hundreds of millions, it’s not even the problem. The problem is that it clearly affects USABILITY.
So, that’s already the second claim that is provably wrong. If it wasn’t trying to make more profits, Apple would have put 6 GB (at least 4 GB) and bigger, more efficient batteries in its phone, like every other Android flagship does.
c) Is Apple the only company trying to make more beautiful, light and thin stuff?
Of course not. And you know what? Plenty of other manufacturers are beating Apple at its own game. They do a better job, years before Apple.
Like Sharp, Xiaomi, LG or Samsung reduced the bezels of their phone 1 to 3 years before Apple launched the iPhone X…
Or today with IBM, Lenovo, HP and Dell with their X1 Carbon, Yoga, Spectre and XPS laptops.
Though one thing Apple is a pioneer of is getting rid of ports… which brings us to our next point.
d) Apple designs today are not minimalist, they’re just boring. Apple boring designs are not minimalist, Apple is boring.
Beside maybe the HomePod which I understand people can find it a good looking… toilet paper roll, are just boring. They’re blend or straight up ugly like iPhones which had enormous bezels and the same unappealing design for 4 years.
And what about the iPhone X with its 5mm bezel all around it + its notch, the Apple Watch (many have been convinced/brainwashed by Apple fanboys and the iMedia into thinking that thing is beautiful but it’s a joke. It’s ugly as hell), the AirPods, the (trash can) Mac Pro etc..?
e) Apple products are above tech… they’re Magical. /s
Last, and more importantly, if technology seems to be Apple’s enemy it’s first and foremost to make people think that iProducts are above it and above trends… They’re MAGICAL. The constant use of this ridiculous word by Jobs and Apple’s marketing to this day is no accident. Because Apple almost never had the best and most powerful components (except CPU… until it’s throttled) and it’s now always late to the market (me-too products). So, Apple definitely needs to convince us that their products offer something more than what they actually do… Thus, they’re “magical”. Which is, of course, nonsense.
That’s also why you hear a lot of fanboys and the iMedia talking about feelings and… ecosystem.
Forget what the products can’t do, guys. Think about how they (make you) feel.Look at this beautiful logo.
And if your “exeprience” is not as good as you thought it would (or you should expect for the price)… it’s your fault. It’s because you didn’t buy enough products to discover the joy of the seamless interaction that offers Apple’s ecosystem. So, buy more. Buy to the point of not being able to get out of Apple’s walled garden anymore.
What a freaking joke! Apple’s ecosystem is crap too, by the way. You can do everything Apple products do in this “ecosystem” with a combo Android device + Windows computer/laptop… Just better.
I’m not joking. And it’s also proven you know where (😀).
“But..but… it’s not native apps.”
Who cares?! They’re easy enough to download and use. And if they offer a better “user experience” (iFans looove to use these words too), why does it freaking matter if they weren’t pre-installed with my phone or laptop?
Stupid argument is stupid.
4. Apple entire product line is made of add-on products.
If you believe a marketer like Phil Schiller and takes his words as Gospel, sure Apple wants to replace all its devices by smaller ones. But don’t believe him.
And less confusing technology? Yes, the Apple Watch (the smallest computer Apple sells) is definitely the epitome of minimalism, simplicity and standalone products. Hilarious…
The Apple Watch has 5 Input methods, FIVE (touch, the crown, buttons, force touch and voice), a cluttered, confusing UI, is slow, has a ridiculous battery life compared to Android wear (or Tizen) smartwatches (who can keep their display always on, btw) and can’t almost do anything without an iPhone (even the LTE model needs one)! LOL
The Apple Watch isn’t there to replace an iPhone… EVER. It will never be a standalone product. It’s an add-on. Like an iPad is an add-on to a laptop which is an add on to the desktop computer.
In fact, Apple does the opposite of what Polymatter (and Schiller) pretend(s) it does. It purposely limits all these products to NOT be able to replace the one they’re supposed to be able to replace. The only thing Apple wants is selling more products.
5. The pursuit of minimalism… slowly… After everyone else did.
He says: “the second it’s possible to remove what they see as an unnecessary distraction, they will”
And to illustrate his claim, one of the examples he takes is… bezels… Now he must be joking, right?
Has he been living in a cave for the last 4 years? Because that’s how long it took Apple to get rid of those enormous iPhone bezels. Though on the “standard” iPhone models and MacBooks they’re still there.
Whereas the competition has been making small bezel and almost bezel-less phones and laptops literally FOR YEARS. Apple just last year decided it was time to follow the trend to don’t appear to out of touch and to milk their customers even more.
Because yeah, they can get a phone with an almost current design but they have to pay the price for it! $1000 + tax! Otherwise, it’s $750 (still a bump of $50) for a four year old design!
“the second it’s possible to remove” bezels. Just ROFL.
So, there you go, another silly argument proven wrong.
Also, Apple doesn’t try to cannibalize its own products before another company does… It’s forced to. because tech, you know, the thing they hate, progresses and some devices become almost obsolete (like mp3 players/iPods).
Above all, it doesn’t try to cannabilize its own products by making them “smaller”. LOL.
The iPhone has never stopped getting bigger and will keep on doing so this very year (with a 6.5″ model). It also sells 12.9” iPads, very small for a tablet indeed. 15” MacBooks and 30” (Cinema Display HD) iMacs… Yep, tiny products.
So, yet another (strange) claim that doesn’t have any basis in reality.
But ports, yes. As soon (even before) Apple thinks it can force its customers to accept it by claiming “it’s the future”, it will get rid of them. That’s for sure. How else would it make you pay for adapters and cables, otherwise, huh?
6. Getting rid of ports because…
What may have been true in the past (the pursuit of simplicity and minimalism) is not the reason behind Apple’s decisions TODAY.
Seemingly identical actions are driven by very different motivations.
Before, profits were a consequence of these design choices.
They were appealing to customers. So, people were buying Apple products because they found them better designed and better looking. Thus, it generated sales and therefore, profits… (thanks to the enormous margins — the “Apple tax” — but that’s not the point here).
Today, Apple’s just in love with dongles. Or, more likely, profit is, by itself, the goal of these design choices.
That’s totally different. These design choices (getting rid of ports, making laptops and desktop computers non-upgradable and very difficult to repair as they’re filled with glue) are specifically made to increase profit by:
– creating the needs for cables, dongles, extra batteries, Bluetooth headphones/earplugs etc… All sorts of accessories Apple makes a nice profit on.
So minimalism = less ports = more accessories = more money for Apple.
– making them non user-upgradable and almost impossible to repair.
And is it minimalism to not offer a freaking ($5) fast charger in iPhone boxes to force users to buy $79 of power cable + wall charger if they want the luxury of fast charging their phone?!
So, yeah, ‘minimalistic’ products is just another word for limited products sold with not even the bare minimum ports and accessories just to be able to upsell you with dongles and… more accessories. It’s the future, I’m telling you…
And maybe, just maybe, Apple is selling “minimalistic” (i.e. limited, boring me-too) products… just because, in fact, it can’t do better.
7. That’s also the reason why Apple doesn’t listen to feedback.
Do you hate Apple and its fanboys? I hate Apple fanboys – Polymatter – The Grand Theory Of Apple.
Beside the arrogance, I mean. It’s because if they were selling what people truly wanted, they’d sell less products that could do more (like a true hybrid laptop/tablet)…
That’s also why the iPhone is limited in every possible way… to accommodate Apple’s other businesses.
Selling digital products and services are the main reasons of limitations such as no USB mass storage, no Bluetooth or NFC files transfer, no file manager, no SD card slot etc…
The headphone jack removal is to sell more Bluetooth/Airpods earphones. It’s not because it’s “the future”… Apple had more than 20% of the Bluetooth and 10% of the headphone markets as a whole before the launch of the Airpods. How much now? You think it’s a coincidence?
The removal of the home button is because it’s easier and cheaper to build a phone without it. That’s one less component to worry about. And also to try and differentiate themselves – with a WebOS/Palm inspired gesture based interface which replace the Home button with a couple more gestures – to hide the fact that they just launched another me-too phone/product etc…
And because Apple is, like every company, lazy and greedy. Meaning the less effort they make and the less money they spend, the happier they are. They try and find the sweet spot between the least spending possible for the most profit possible (that’s financial efficiency and that’s true even for the relatively expensive to build iPhone X). And with such un-demanding customers, the ratio profit/cost is enormous.
Apple doesn’t listen to its customers because it knows better… Right… It’s surely why there’s no way, in 2018, to customize iOS at all or iPhones battery life still sucks and their battery capacity is so low. /s
8. Apple sells me-too products.
So, if it doesn’t listen to customers it’s NOT because it creates innovating products that the consumers couldn’t have thought about by themselves… But, again, to maximize profit and keep on making decisions that are good for Apple, not its customers.
In fact, it’s the opposite. Apple sells ME-TOO products. They launch devices and features after everyone else does. Is that the new definition of “innovative”, now?
Apple’s users ACCEPT it. iFans and iPologists (like the author of this video) try and make everyone think it’s because of a grand vision for the future or metaphysical principles/goals that’ll benefit them in the end… but it’s just NOT true.
And customers keep on buying Apple products DESPITE these choices and moves, not BECAUSE OF them.
9. Apple doesn’t pour huge amount of money in R&D, no.
Not compared to other, less rich, companies, they don’t. In fact, they are spending far less than Samsung, Google, Microsoft etc… DESPITE generating a LOT more money.
Source (Phone Arena).
And that’s another claim proven wrong. That makes it how many now?
I told you this “The Grand Theory of Apple” video was full of it.
Again, from Apple’s point of view, the less it spends, the better (R&D included… And you don’t need to spend a lot when you sell me-too products and use tech others created for you, right?). Always for the same reason: profit margins.
And it works, since people and videos like this justify and even glorify every bad moves and average or mediocre (made to be magical) me-too products Apple sells.
10. Grand Trickery and… useless “predictions”
Polymatter, and contrary to what he claims, doesn’t predict ANYTHING with “his” (a couple of the ideas he speaks about and even the title of his vid were “inspired” from this Business Insider short article) The GRAND Theory of Apple…
Apple will make a new iPad? Maybe a hybrid? Or something completely different that we don’t know about? What great original and mind blowing predictions… SMH
They surely prove how accurate and valid his grand theory of Apple is. /s
My “predictions”? Easy.
More products, a couple of new features here and there to give the illusion it’s an innovative company and to try and justify the outrageous prices.
You can also obviously count on more ultra-expensive products, less ports, more dongles, still no customization and more silly design choices to differentiate itself from the competition… Silly design choices that every fanboy and tech blog out there will praise… And copycats will keep on copying… Because that’s what they do.
Ok… I think that’s enough. I guess I made another “short” post. LOL.
It wasn’t supposed to be that long though… But I couldn’t stop. The falsehood of this video is so enormous that I had to try and disprove it all.
So, how does The Grand Theory of Apple look now? Not so Grand, right?
My next (It should be shorter… But you never know… LOL) post will be published
in a couple of days (next week) and be on Apple’s iPhone X notch (and this design trend as a whole), by the way. It will be titled: “The Ugly Apple’s iPhone X Notch, A Stupid Solution To A Problem That Doesn’t exist.”
As for the next (third) volume of the “Apple, The Forbidden Truth” series, I’ve decided to make 2 books out of it instead of just one. So, there will be 4 volumes, total. Too many things to cover and the #iPhoneSlow (Throttle Gate) scandal is still bothering me. I can’t seem to find a good way to approach it yet. Frustrating.
What will be Vol. 3 main topic? Apple’s devices and OSes in-security: How they’re in fact full of vulnerabilities and are far from being impervious to malwares. They’re targeted by plenty… And we’ll try and demonstrate how Apple users are in fact LESS secure than Android/Windows ones!
The fourth volume will be on the “It Just Works” myth and we’ll talk about un-intuitiveness, limitations, and all the problems affecting Apple products from #donglelife to the #ThrottleGate (explaining its TRUE reasons… And no, it’s not because “all batteries age with time”).
You’ll be as floored with the revelations (some which you can’t find anywhere else) in these two as with those present in the first 2 volumes (available on Amazon)… I would say even more so. And, no, I’m not just saying it.
Anyway, see you soon for more REAL news and analyses on Apple, its products and its fanboys…